Thursday, April 29, 2010

Resiliency and Abuse...

On a sweet day in December of 2001 I went to my doctor for my yearly checkup, something I did just to monitor my well being and to keep my insurance company happy. Life was pretty good, things although not perfect were moving long well. A new business I had begun was growing, money was not really an issue, and although my marriage was iffy and my elderly mother who lived with me had Alzheimer’s, all was ok, doable. Yet looking back is see all this exerted much pressure upon me; something I see had a profound effect upon my health and mental clarity.

On that day my blood was drawn, an ECG (Electrocardiography) was taken and I left my doctors office not thinking I’d see him again till next year, surprise! Two days later I received a call from his office asking me to come back in, he had something to discuss with me. I figured my cholesterol was probably too high since I had not been watching my diet as well as I should, so I called, made an appointment, and saw him the next day. He said Gabriel your blood work came back and there are some concerns, I’ll have to refer you to a hematologist. I said ok, thinking nothing of it, assuming my diet had my blood in disarray, that I’d get a talking to, and my life would continue on...

The appointment day came, I showed up at the office, an extension of University Hospital in Tamarac Florida. I was in a great mood, played with the nurses, the one who drew my blood was cute and I flirted a bit, all the time thinking all was well. It was not...

After waiting for a bit, they had a lab in house, I finally saw the doctor, a cold man who I saw more of his back than his face as he stood back to me flipping through my chart. While still back to me he said Gabriel your numbers are way off, please lie on the exam table face up. He finally turned and began to palpate my abdomen and in only a second said “your spleen is huge, did you not feel this?” I had not, my belly had recently grown, but I thought it was the food and drink and nothing more.

Again he turned his back and began to write offering me these words, “Gabriel you are very sick. The exact nature of your disease is not yet clear, but it is severe based on your very enlarged spleen and low blood counts. I will have my nurse schedule a bone marrow biopsy.” He was about to walk out when I demanded more information asking “doctor tell me what are the possible causes of this and how serious are these?” he turned looking not so happy to have to offer me more time and began to spit out a list of nasty things. Hairy cell leukemia, lymphoma, myelofibrosis (who knew this would be the one since I had never heard of it and it was the most deadly and rare). I asked “can these kill me,” he said yes.

He then turned leaving the room at a break neck speed as to escape before I asked more questions. I was shocked and angry that after giving me such bad news he would walk away, soo cold leaving me in this little room alone. Well I did not stay there long, I took off after him calling his name, he continued to walk, I caught up to him grabbed his shoulder and spun him around, saying “doctor you cannot tell me this and then just walk away... we need to talk” he said “there is nothing to talk about, you need a bone marrow biopsy, my nurse will schedule it”...

The story goes on, you’ll find it complete in my book and on the net soon, the message of this piece is about how mindless we are about our bodies state of being, how I could have walked around dying with a huge spleen and had not known a thing.

During my lectures I use a prop, it’s a sweet little plant, I carry it out, show it to the audience and say “sweet isn’t it, healthy looking yes?” then from behind the lectern I pull a can of coke saying, “oh little plant you look thirsty” and begin to act as if I’m going to “water” this plant with it. Many in the audience gasp, some laugh, but there is always response...

I then stop before actually pouring the poison into the plant, I say “I see many of you think it would be a mistake to water a plant with coke and yet we drink this garbage, this and worse every day”. If I had poured the soft drink into the pot, the plant would have died quickly, most likely by morning.

The blessing and curse of our sweet bodies is it's resiliency, that it can take a beating and keeps on living. If we were like the plant, we would have immediate feedback screaming at us saying “stop!” but because we are so resilient we continue, day after day, month after month, year after year to pour crap into our bodies thinking all is well. This mindless abuse leads to days like the ones I told you of above, days of surprise as we are told the years of abuse have come to offer their nasty payback.

This resilience breeds a mindless attitude of abuse, one in which we take this life, this sweet opportunity for granted, living our lives pouring, inhaling, and soaking up the poisons of the world we've created... Everywhere we look, if we look, is death, from the antiperspirant we spray under our arms, the food we put into our mouths, to the toxic news we watch over and over again on the death tube.

My friends just because the poison we consume does not immediately show its nasty intent, please don’t be deceived, it is killing you. Don’t let the strength of this flesh suit we live in delude you into a belief that all is well, it is not, and the piper will have to be paid, and the price is high, very high...

Don’t take this life for granted, don’t assume all is well, educate yourself, give yourself the same grace, offer the same mercy as you do your pets, you would not feed your dog or cat half the crap you feed yourselves, saying “the vet says” they should eat this and not that, we buy special formulas, offer them clean water (not coke) to drink... Friends awaken!

Save yourselves... Know that it is up to you what will happen, that the thoughts, words and actions of today, yesterday, and all the days you’ve lived so far are at this moment an accumulation of all you've done, one waiting to hit that critical mass, one that most likely has you sitting on a fence, a fence that divides life and death, wellness (the appearance of) and disease... The next nasty thing might be the one that takes you over to the other side, you are at a tipping point, don’t be deceived, you may be ready to fall over to the bad side of the fence... don’t do it; you may not find your way back.

The good news is the healthy, vital, sexy side of that fence is there for you, you can tip over and move into a fine life, one that offers you all the strength to live a sexy, active life long into your later years, to live long, one hundred years or more; not sitting in a wheel chair or shuffling around on a walker, demented, but one with a strong mind and body, one that is useful and full of joy till the day you pass into Bardo (the time between lives). Please friends awaken, again I say AWAKEN!

I send you all waves of joy, peace, and understanding... Be well...gabriel

If you want to learn more about how to stay well, or get well, click on this text it will transport you to my site.

No comments: